
All this brings us back to Sydney Sweeney’s
boobs: her honkers, mommy milkers, grands tétons—
our remaindered reputations avalanched upon:
castrating coup de foudre: we’re all weenies,
heart-battered, wracked by liberal meanies
whose elitophile noctes and successful spawn
out-Freud, out-Jung us, even out-Lacan
the shrinks who told our moms, Your Mussolini-
manqué sons have but two paths in life:
in one they kill a schoolyard full of kids;
the other?—disappointed crypto-Waugh;
in either case, they never get a wife;
they’ll masturbate to low-res Twitter vids;
weird hairline, creepy eyes, a Habsburg jaw.








