The United States is giving serious consideration
to changing the name of Lake Ontario.
Its damned Canucking name has gotta go.
A lovely Iroquoian derivation
yes, but it offends our maddened nation—
heathbound, taxed and kinged, we, Learlike, blow
howling, cracking cheeks, and raging, blow
up a friendship, dream of annexation:
from Niagara Falls to Tibbetts Point,
South Padre Island to frozen Baffin Bay,
Thanks for your attention to this matter:
make North America a single joint,
speak what we feel, not what we ought to say:
our dude’s too old, and madder than a hatter.